How Do You Address an LGBTQ+ Person or Couple Who Wants to Join Your Church?
Be Proactive
In addressing hot topic questions such as this one, it is essential for the church to be proactive. Begin by reviewing your church’s constitution, bylaws, or covenant to see what it says about marriage, as well as the requirements for church membership. Your foundational documents should include a statement regarding convictions based on biblical principles, teaching that marriage is limited to a union between a man and a woman. Additionally, consider including a statement to the effect that anyone involved in ongoing unrepentant sin would not be a candidate for membership. Policies regarding the process for removing membership, as well as whether nonmembers are allowed to serve in any formal positions in the church, should also be included in your documents. Include Scriptural references that support your positions. If your church does not have such statements, consider seeking legal counsel to determine the best way to craft these additions. Being proactive will help protect the church against legal action, as well as provide a clear testimony of the church’s biblical stance on marriage.
Recognize the Opportunity
If a person or couple who identifies as LGBTQ+ seeks to join your church, recognize it as an opportunity. It might seem intimidating or uncomfortable, but it is truly an opportunity. For some reason or reasons, this individual or couple is seeking to enter into fellowship with your church, providing an opportunity for you to share the Gospel with them.
The Gospel sets people free from bondage to sin. In sharing the Gospel, we need to practice self-confrontation first. Matthew 7:5 teaches the importance of removing the log from our eye so that we can see effectively to remove the speck from our brother’s eye. It is easy for us to become judgmental, yet we need to be reminded that all of us have sinned and fall short of God’s glory (Romans 3:10–12, 23). As we remember this, it becomes easier to effectively share the Good News with others. Ephesians 4:15 says, “But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ.” If we are not careful, we can focus on speaking the truth without doing it in love.
While there are people who think differently from us on such a significant subject as sexual intimacy, it’s important to remember to follow Jesus’ example of having compassion. Matthew 9:36 shares insight into Jesus’ compassion: “Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd.” Sheep without a shepherd do not survive long, and that motivated Jesus to have compassion for those whom He saw. We need to have compassion like Christ, recognizing that those who come to join the church in their sin are in need of a Shepherd. They need someone to share and show them the love of Christ.
Minister the Word
While evangelism must include a clear verbal presentation of the Gospel, it should also involve an ongoing relationship, if possible. As long as an LGBTQ+ individual or couple is open to being in a relationship with us and willing to attend our church, the opportunity to share and demonstrate the Gospel continues. Relationship provides an opportunity to show love, compassion, and sincerity as we continue to speak the truth. The goal of the relationship is to show them God’s love and His provision for the forgiveness of their sins—not just sexual sins, but all sins. The best way to introduce them to God is through using Scripture. Avoid the temptation to debate whether their beliefs are correct. While it is important to teach the meaning, significance, and application of biblical teachings on sexuality, keep the focus on God and His love. Teach them who Jesus is, what He has done, and how He loves them. Help them fall in love with the God who created them and loves them.
In this special Light the Way Q&A series, we ask our world-class faculty to shed biblical light on a wide assortment of questions that you and your church might encounter in life and ministry. Each answer is shaped with a biblical worldview and aimed at helping you apply God God’s Word to real-world issues. This article was originally published in the Winter 2025 edition of the Mid-America Messenger.